Video Game Hank

[info]theladyfeylene

If You Sing Loud and Clear

someone passing by will surely hear

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The Last Words of Severus Snape
Video Game Hank
[info]theladyfeylene
February 4th, 2005
Current Mood:
accomplished accomplished
This is humorous, tongue in cheek, and not meant to be taken seriously at all. These are letters to be distributed should Severus Snape be lost in the war.



Dear Mr Potter,

No, I never liked you. No I was not difficult on you to ‘make you strong’ no matter what the Headmaster told you. I hated you and I hate your father. I hope you rot in hell.

****

Dear Ms Granger,

You are an insufferable know-it-all. No, that isn’t an appealing trait. None of the professors liked you. We all secretly hoped you’d fail so you would be knocked down off of your intellectual high horse. I hope you fail out of school.

****

Dear Mr Weasley,

Castrate yourself. Immediately.

****

Dear Headmaster,

I never liked your damn tea or your damn candy. You’d better win this damn war.

****

Dear Lupin,

I know you wanted me. As if I’d ever touch something that was that close to Black.

PS. I’ll tell him you say hello.

****

Dear Lucius,

I faked it every time. I also slept with your wife. She’s a hell of a lot better in bed than you.

PS. Tell her I said hello.

****

Dear Draco,

You’re a miserable waste of space and have no talent whatsoever. I only passed you because of your parents. Your mother’s a demon in the sheets.

PS. Tell her I say hello.

***

Dear Voldemort,

Ha. Ha. Ha. Fooled you, didn’t I?

PS. Tell Narcissa Malfoy I say hello.

****

Dear Narcissa,

Your husband’s horrible in bed. I don’t remember what I did with those naked pictures of you, so I suggest donating a large sum of money to the Prophet to be safe.

PS. Hello.


( 70 comments — Leave a comment )
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[info]ex_mikazuki336

2005-02-04 08:01 pm (UTC)

Dear Mr Weasley,

Castrate yourself. Immediately.

That is fantastic. *evil laughter*

Thanks for this. >D
(Reply) (Thread)

[info]theladyfeylene

2005-02-04 08:34 pm (UTC)

Thank you! You're more than welcome.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

[info]taradilien

2005-02-04 08:02 pm (UTC)

I like. You have totally brightened my day. Thank you.
(Reply) (Thread)

[info]theladyfeylene

2005-02-04 08:35 pm (UTC)

I'm really glad that I could that, thank you.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

[info]hilarita

2005-02-04 08:04 pm (UTC)

Bwa-ha-ha-ha.

Excellent. I love the letter to Draco. They'll be taking him to St Mungo's.
(Reply) (Thread)

[info]theladyfeylene

2005-02-04 08:35 pm (UTC)

Thank you! I'm glad you got a kick out of it.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

[info]shezan

2005-02-04 08:05 pm (UTC)

*Loves this Snape to bits.*
(Reply) (Thread)

[info]theladyfeylene

2005-02-04 08:36 pm (UTC)

Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it! It started off as a little joke with my housemate and girlfriend, and the grew.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

[info]dorotea

2005-02-04 08:19 pm (UTC)

:)) I so loved these! Very, very funny!
(Reply) (Thread)

[info]ellid

2005-02-04 08:35 pm (UTC)

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Brilliant!
(Reply) (Thread)

[info]mucada

2005-02-04 08:44 pm (UTC)

I faked it every time. I also slept with your wife. She’s a hell of a lot better in bed than you.

Ah, brilliance! :) *again, bows to you*
(Reply) (Thread)

[info]theladyfeylene

2005-02-04 08:45 pm (UTC)

Thanks, I'm sop glad you enjoyed it! That one's my favorite, too.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

[info]meridian_star

2005-02-04 08:55 pm (UTC)

*fails helplessly on the floor overcome with laughter*

OMG so BRILLIANT!!!! <333
(Reply) (Thread)

[info]theladyfeylene

2005-02-04 08:56 pm (UTC)

*helps you up*

Thank you so much, I'm so glad you enjoyed them!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

[info]cantabile

2005-02-04 08:58 pm (UTC)

These are great. Just how Sev probably would leave letters. Whoever made the icon is very clever too.

Hooray for Severus Snape!
(Reply) (Thread)

[info]theladyfeylene

2005-02-04 09:00 pm (UTC)

Thank you! For the compliments on both the fic and the icon. :-)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

[info]dementedsiren

2005-02-04 08:59 pm (UTC)

Classic. Absolutely classic.

Dear Mr Weasley,

Castrate yourself. Immediately.


*falls over laughing*
(Reply) (Thread)

[info]theladyfeylene

2005-02-04 09:01 pm (UTC)

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :-)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

[info]xochiquetzl

2005-02-04 09:19 pm (UTC)

Dear Lucius,

I faked it every time. I also slept with your wife. She’s a hell of a lot better in bed than you.

PS. Tell her I said hello.

LOL!!!!!
(Reply) (Thread)

[info]samson28

2005-02-04 09:20 pm (UTC)

Dear Draco,

You’re a miserable waste of space and have no talent whatsoever. I only passed you because of your parents. Your mother’s a demon in the sheets.

You had me cackling!! Ever so amusing, you have a wicked brain. *g*
(Reply) (Thread)

[info]theladyfeylene

2005-02-05 02:33 am (UTC)

Thank you! I'm glad I could make you laugh, it's what I was hoping to do.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

[info]tiferet

2005-02-04 09:34 pm (UTC)

Damn you. I have a horrible sore throat and I can't stop laughing.

Much love,
Azalais :)
(Reply) (Thread)

[info]theladyfeylene

2005-02-05 02:34 am (UTC)

I'm sorry! But I'm glad you enjoyed. :-)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

[info]subtle_science

2005-02-04 10:54 pm (UTC)

Dear Voldemort,

Ha. Ha. Ha. Fooled you, didn’t I?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  I love it!
(Reply) (Thread)

[info]theladyfeylene

2005-02-05 02:34 am (UTC)

Thank you, I'm so glad you liked it!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

[info]demeter918

2005-02-04 11:52 pm (UTC)

XDXDXD Not tortured, angsty Snape at all. Love how he disembowels everyone, including Narcissa.
(Reply) (Thread)

[info]lennaofmidearth

2005-02-05 12:02 am (UTC)

It's great to see this type of humor from you. It's been a while ;)

Needless to say, I of course loved it.
(Reply) (Thread)

[info]theladyfeylene

2005-02-05 02:35 am (UTC)

It's been a while since I've been in any mood to write it. I blame Kingdom Hospital and the mad infusion of dark and dry humour I watched last night.

I'm glad!
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

[info]elfflame

2005-02-05 02:23 am (UTC)

That was delicious. I needed that. :D

I want to pick one out in particular, but the all stand out so well, I just can't choose. I do love the "Tell her I say hello" thread, though.
(Reply) (Thread)

[info]theladyfeylene

2005-02-05 02:39 am (UTC)

I'm glad! I just wanted to make people smile a bit.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

[info]shoeless_girl

2005-02-05 03:03 am (UTC)

Mwah ha ha!
Great job Fey.
Love the Weasley and Voldemort ones most!
(Reply) (Thread)

[info]theladyfeylene

2005-02-05 04:01 am (UTC)

Thank you! I'm glad you liked them. :-D
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

[info]bentley

2005-02-05 03:43 am (UTC)

PS. Hello.

AHAHAHAHA.

That absolutely made my day. *snerk* Brilliant.
(Reply) (Thread)

[info]theladyfeylene

2005-02-05 04:02 am (UTC)

Yay! I'm glad I was able to. :-D
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

[info]bludrummergrl

2005-02-05 05:27 am (UTC)

*Laughs*

Oh these were great! <3
(Reply) (Thread)
( 70 comments — Leave a comment )
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